Do You Have What It Takes to Survive Eton?

EDUCATION

By: Zoe Samuel

6 Min Quiz

Image: Wiki Commons by Kazimierz Mendlik

About This Quiz

Eton College was founded by Henry VI, and attended by Princes William and Harry. Those facts alone would mark it out as the poshest boys school in the world. Still, in case anyone objects, they should be reminded of the 20 British Prime Ministers who went there, and enough powerful Old Etonians to populate The Portland Club for 10 generations. It used to be a closed circle of "people like us," but, along with the rest of Britain, it has realized that being well off does not mean being intelligent, and staying on top means being smart.

You can’t buy your way in anymore; you have to be able to make the grades. Eton has realized that if it is to remain a premier school in today’s world, posh idiots aren’t going to cut it — and if you’re willing to go global, there are plenty of clever boys who are also rich. Additionally, the school is in the process of raising funds to become needs-blind, meaning that they will be able to select pupils based purely on academic or other potential. Going forward, Eton will produce the Dominic Wests, Stephen Wolframs, and sadly, Boris Johnsons of the rest of the world. Still, the question remains, do you have what it takes to survive at the world's most elite all-boys school?


Do you intend to be Prime Minister?

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How comfortable are you around obscene wealth?

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Would you be willing to study for a year to nail the scholarship exam?

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Do you truly believe, deep down, that you are entitled to a world-class education and facilities?

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If you were ever given power over someone else, even only in a small way, what did you do with it?

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Can you tie an Eton collar?

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How many surnames do you have?

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Do you play any sports at a potentially near-university level?

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How amenable are you to the idea of going to chapel very often?

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A “beak” (teacher) is reading the “weekly ranking” but he pronounces the letter R as a W sound. Can you keep your laughter below acceptable levels?

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You are in the shower when you hear a trio of boys plotting to rush your shower and steal your towel. How quickly can you get dry and get out of there in order to thwart their plot?

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What bodily build do you have?

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We can all agree the system needs to change, but do you lean toward reform or revolution?

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Is it a waste of time, in your view, to study Latin?

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Which optional extra class would you take?

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If someone says, “This year the Fourth of June is on the 28th of May,” what does this mean?

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Would you participate in the Wall Game?

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Can you row in time to a cox’s beat?

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What is Judy’s Passage?

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Do you care who wins the annual Lord’s match that Eton plays against longstanding rivals Harrow at Lord’s Cricket Ground in London?

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A female teacher walks in. How do you address her?

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Would you like to visit Mesopotamia?

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Which is better to be, a Colleger or an Oppidan?

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Prefects at Eton are elected, a process known as being “in Pop.” Do you think you could win this election?

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What is the best benefit you get if you go to Eton?

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How many of your relatives went to Eton?

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How many “halves” are in an Eton school calendar?

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You do a particularly great piece of work. What do you hope happens?

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Would you be a candidate for CCF (Combined Cadet Force), which is effectively Eton’s fast track into Sandhurst or other military training?

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What would you do at the Chronicle, Eton’s in-house school paper?

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